Many emotions were coursing through me–fear, doubt, and the thrill of achievement. I had thought about doing a weekly newsletter for a long time, but all the usual questions kept me from moving forward–time, how to, what to say.
The biggest fear of all was, “What if people think I am bugging them, and don’t like me as a result?” Over the years of writing every week, I have pondered this question often, but never let myself think about it deeply until now. I realize that one of my biggest fears in life has been about people not liking me.
When I have the presence of mind to see the big picture, I realize that fear of mine is like most fears in life, a False Expectation Appearing Real.
Does the fact that my fear is a false expectation mean that no one has felt bugged with Over the Hump filling up their inbox and therefore unsubscribed? There are probably a few people who are cranky with me, or with Over the Hump. Or just too much email in general and happen to blame me in that moment.
What I have learned in the last 3 years is that it does not matter if some people do not like me, or my work, it’s easy for them to unsubscribe. It is one of the main benefits of our electronic age, the ease of walking away. From the comments I receive, I believe there are also some who like my weekly missives, and think that they help them grow or find their own answers. That is enough for me, plus the fact that writing Over the Hump is really engaging and fun.
So as I finally ponder this question deeply, I realize that I have left behind many of my false expectations around whether others like me, and just relaxed into doing my thing. And that feels peaceful.
What about you? What false expectations and other fears keep you from doing things that are meaningful for you? What do you do to get past them? Or do you feel the fear and do it anyway? Please share by commenting below!
P.S. For those of you who are counting, after I wrote this I looked back at the first issue and learned that it was sent in October, so this is not exactly 3 years. I am going by the number of issues to celebrate 3 years: 3 x 52 = 156. Hopefully you are not too cranky. 😉